It all starts with a message. You’ll never know where it could lead to; that’s the beauty of online dating (if you’re into some sense of risk, of course). It could be the beginning of something wonderful, that you couldn’t possibly imagine, or something pretty horrid, which I believe you’ll be smart enough to avoid the moment you see the first warning sign.

But how are you gonna get there? How can you make sure you’ll get a lot of first messages, therefore have a lot of choices? Read carefully those secrets, from me, to you. With love.

1. Choose your nickname wisely. You get to choose your name, and trust me, our names define us A LOT more than we realise. You can write your own name, or maybe the year you were born, or express an interest, or a preference (from colour to sexual fetish). Your choice will reveal a lot for you. (Important note: always spell check and avoid too long nicknames such as BlueEyedAngel_LovesKittens_Daydreamer.)
2. Choose your pictures wisely. 4 to 6 pictures are enough, variety provided: Body shot, clear face pic, definitely one smiling, a glamour shot. This means you care about your online self and you are no fake. You’re here, you’re real and you’re into it.
3. Always respond. No matter how cliched, silly or rude is the message you just received, take some time and answer it. You may just declare “Thank you” or “This is stupid” or “I don’t have time for your rude behaviour”. This actually builds your confidence and shows you respect yourself and demand the same.
4. Put yourself into your writing. Are you sarcastic? Write like one. Are you bubbly and cheeky? By all means, show it. Take the time and express yourself through your writing. This kind of honesty has some extremely good, long-term results.
5. Comment. Somebody sent you something. Try to read between the lines, watch his pictures carefully – and express your comment (aka your interest). A compliment is always welcome. A joke or a pun works well too. This will make your discussant feel closer to you and speak about themselves more freely. That’s an advantage.
6. Ask. “Hey, how R U?” You will get this many, many times. Don’t respond “Fine. And you?” because you will get stuck into a completely dull, semi-awkward conversation. Ask him something instead, even about the weather; small talk, big difference.
7. Don’t rush it. You’ll get those messages with nothing but a working schedule, a place and a phone number. No matter how busy he seems, don’t give in. You want to get to know him a bit before you two meet up in person. Your safety is extremely important to you as well – and it’s non-negotiable.

It’s all about marketing, ain’t it? Well, just making sure your time spent on online conversations won’t be wasted. You may think it’s too much work, but always remember that everything that counts is too much work – and will be acknowledged eventually.